Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
最后以为死了，结果活着，以为失忆，结果看了以前录像又觉醒了xp镜头一红……
值得一个三星的最重要一点是因为，剧情完整度很高，虽然用了很多烂梗但是对标一部轻松诙谐的喜剧片无可厚非。主角的演技基本在线、情绪到位，一些大咖拿来做个彩蛋点缀也算处理得当。不过个人认为一个很关键的弱点是让男主的转变过于生硬了，既没有明显铺垫男主从小被污名为偷后发展成惯偷的前因，也没有一个明显的行为明确给到观众男主洗心革面的节点，对于一部轻喜剧来说算个硬伤。
挺糟糕的，空洞且无物，一些意象化的段落没有很好的附着在剧力上。不是很能理解剪辑点频繁使用黑屏淡出的作用。陈湘琪的表演也有些陷入制式化，相比而言陈以文在本片中的某几场戏倒是更为传神。
二次元的各种脑洞与怪趣味在真人版中荡然无存，内核变成了一个干巴巴的人格分裂少女杀人疑案，青年演员们的表演较为拙劣，而田中圭接角色太多也审美疲劳得无以复加。
感觉到努力和用心了，不算难看，属于别人问观后感，会脱口而出还不错的片子。
如果是女子高生视角我会觉得有点酷的，男主视角只让我觉得无比做作……
有人刚走进婚姻，有人在婚姻的出口徘徊，拜托严太太，支棱起来可以么!不要把心思全部放在家庭身上啊！还有严太太，麻烦把口罩带好！！
台湾学院派作品，有病呻吟，语境另类，表达平庸，但陈湘琪表演真的还可以（限于某些片段）
当她在婚礼上望向儿子儿媳的时候，谁能保证他们将来不会变得和她自己的婚姻一样呢。
修行 的摄影问题太大了，手持移动式摄影没问题，不上稳定器也没问题，但表现中年夫妻关系不稳定至于镜头要抖动嘛？手持摄影是这五六年的流行，但经历过初期的实验后，这两年的摄影师都用稳定器来保持呼吸感和移动。移动不是抖动，移动是镜头有规律平滑的轨迹运动，抖动是摄影机举累了跑了构图，又赶紧找原始构图的过程。反复出现带前景的仰角大全景也很奇怪，如果画面内有运动，哪怕是冷暖光对比，也无可厚非。可人物在焦点处，前面加个没虚掉的实景就是静态摄影了，通俗点叫照片。这种写意镜头和之前符号化的对白场面剪在一起，节奏就是一条直线。文艺片的节奏绝不是一条直线，相反是波涛汹涌，只是没那么多无聊的动作戏罢了。导演显然不懂文艺片，只学到符号化和表面的平静，却没看到底下的暗潮涌动。心电图都不敢一条直线，电影的节奏怎么敢。
舞台杀人计划的高潮那一段还是拍得不错的。结局还是太温和，编剧下不了狠手导致中途半端的感觉。
——2021.10.06
《庄子·大宗师》：「彼何人者邪，修行无有，而外其形骸。」成玄英疏：「彼二人情事难识，修己德行，无有礼仪，而忘外形骸。」可见在古人看来，修行之格局无谓也就是情事罢了。影片以小见大，以静制动，以今论古。修是修心，是对婚姻格局的重新审视；修是修补，是对原生家庭的隐忍维护。行是前行，是对人生准则的坚持不懈；行是笃行，是对忠贞不渝的重新解读。结尾的戏份很巧妙，由婚礼的嬉笑打闹转场为士后排的了无生趣，仿佛短短的一段路，即是半生。耐人深思，值得玩味。
可能我喜欢田中圭吧，看完感觉就普通，不算很讨厌
像拼凑的剧情，设定和张卫健的伙头智多星类似，不过明显后者有趣多了，儿时看和瓜果蔬菜交谈的张那叫一惊艳。这个片倒也用了这个有意思的点，但这展开就有点狗尾续貂了，感情戏实在无聊完全可以整个纯喜剧。现在不是那个车马邮件都很慢的年代了，如今每天都有年轻男女一边吃快餐一边做快餐式的爱而在网站上泛滥。你还变着花样讲那点陈芝麻烂谷子的旧情复燃，就很假，就像郭45度角仰望天空，那个非主流年代给很多人感动的屁滚尿流，但过了那个年纪了再念叨这些就是一傻波一。所以无论怎么变爱情片还是要靠真实和贴近群众生活去打动人
做作！发神经！对演员的喜爱也不上升电影本身了。一边一副不要想歪的擦边球，一边还要强调不是女子高中生不行……有病，还是理直气壮的有病
感觉到努力和用心了，不算难看，属于别人问观后感，会脱口而出还不错的片子。
很喜欢小男主的演技，看着很舒服。女巫太漂亮了，场景布置的很抓眼球，我尤其喜欢那个旋转高顶装满书的图书馆。
改編自王定國的"妖精"，不過相較原著短篇有比較大的變化。主角是一個拘謹龜毛的家庭主婦，她的孩子已長大離家，已屆熟齡的她，與丈夫生活在一個屋簷下，卻比陌生人還不如。有一天，她接到丈夫曾經外遇過的小三消息，那小三失智了...從此一點點撬開了她隱藏多年的內心。壓抑著太多痛苦與不甘心，她尋求靈修卻從來沒有放下過...如錢翔與陳湘琪合作的上部片"迴光奏鳴曲"，電影100%依陳湘琪的表演所建構，她演生活流的角色非常強大，表面上平淡，實際卻是一座休眠的火山，你可以窺見乾涸土地下那些暗湧的岩漿。演完大概會脫一層皮...跟迴光不一樣的還有，他是沒有出口的。不會有那扇可以盡全力就能撞開的門。只有各自爆發過後回到原位的窒息，假裝沒事的過完剩下的人生，沒有盡頭的"修行"
2022.6.5 完全是片名吸引了我来看 但没想到日影窗口期都这么短了吗？才2个月左右就出资源了忽然 但现在日影确实还没韩影受欢迎 小说家的电影才出来一天就几百人看了 这部出来好几天了 也才几十人看过 还是有点意思的 就是结局差点意思 男主居然还是没被凯瑟琳杀掉 这不是折磨男主吗 等他回想起来之前的事情不还是会想被凯瑟琳杀掉 666 这个要走吗也太暗示了吧 果然直接干 放狗去咬凯瑟琳 然后让她自卫把狗杀了 想看女高怎么杀人是吧 8岁杀人的女孩就是女主的第三种人格 原来是一直想被女主杀死。。原来杀狗的是女主 凯瑟琳还在他身上 真有慕自我暗杀癖这种病吗 故意激怒女主是吧 卧槽 就像被凯瑟琳杀掉甚至还给了原先的人格退路不会被怀疑是她做的 最后居然是男主自己掉下去但没被勒死
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