Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
这个作品真是证明了那句话：有钱难买我舒服！故事简单没有脑洞没有套路，也许流俗(但它就是在讲这个)但是舒服；有些镜头是精心但是也没那么匠心设计的，但是舒服；90%的对白必须看字幕才能懂，但还是有种这就是身边事耳边话的舒服；看似人设都有钱有闲好像无病呻吟，但理解他们的爱恨情仇毫不费力，舒服。就连最后留下一滴泪，那也是不抽不呛地流下来的，心脏不难受。还有我盲猜有一部分是中国人唱英文的全部配曲，和剧情契合度让人有种看欧美剧的舒服。真的是太爱倪虹洁了，英语说得ga好听的宁理老师真是变色龙中的战斗机啊。
最惊喜的是老白到美术馆找两个女人那一段，布景和光影、台词、站位，想传递的信息，在国产电影中属实少见。
这可能关系到上海中产阶级的小资风貌，更多的其实关乎到在题材范畴日渐狭小的当下日渐膨胀的“元电影”式作者导向。我已经记不清今年看过多少部开口就是费里尼闭口就是塔可夫斯基的国产电影了。
不过，当下除了文艺圈自嗨，又还能拍些什么呢？
是爱情的神话也是电影的神话。
低配饮食男女 在我体系里应该三星半 但是为了鼓励4星 这个质感的电影我想不到大陆会有第二个导演拍得出 连配乐都如此好听 这个电影对得起电影二字 世界上最遥远的距离莫过你觉得李焕英是好片 这个是烂片
电子烟老师有点东西啊，整出点伍迪艾伦那意思了
最后说到上海。以我浅薄的六个月的观察，上海果真就像电影里一样，漫溢着仪式感。白老师拎着一万六的Jimmy Choo走在暖黄色路灯下的影子；鞋匠装在铁饭盒里的下午茶蛋糕；桌子要铺上桌布、煎蛋要煎成心形。想对上海随处可见的露天咖啡桌和圣诞树说一句：灵啊灵啊。
加强版的《爱情呼叫转移》，在上海人身上看不到普世的爱情观，而且全程上海话实在让人看得心累，语速快还牙尖嘴利，在方言里还是重庆话、北京话、东北话和粤语听着舒服。
让我感觉别扭的地方是，导演既想歌颂爱情，又迷恋于一种温馨的“同层文化景观”。——但爱情之所以能成为神话，在于它是一种颠覆性的情感，能跨越难以逾越的障碍（通常表现为阶层障碍）。——就好像，导演既要向费里尼致敬，又要在片尾用上海小吃揶揄大师的阳春白雪。和其他经典的文艺片一样，费里尼的《爱情神话》的精彩在于其极端的创造性实践（“一部关于古罗马的科幻片”），这种艺术密度往往会遭到普通观众的拒绝或嘲笑。所以，本片结尾其实是在用“日常生活最伟大”的主流论调否认了前面挖空心思营造（我更愿称之为“想象”）出来的上海文化格调，也否认了超越世俗而存在的爱情。
最惊喜的是老白到美术馆找两个女人那一段，布景和光影、台词、站位，想传递的信息，在国产电影中属实少见。
✪94//第二遍看时连最初没留下美好第一印象的开场都看着顺眼，开篇后来的每段戏都有我入迷的节奏（无论表演或影像内容编排），场景灵了、机位和运镜灵了、对白也灵了，每当两个人说上话时似乎都要有好神奇的事发生：寻常生活的小麻烦在自然的谈天里渐渐走向水到渠成，偶尔冒出的矛盾慢慢已经看来不是什么大事。太喜欢角色之间好自在、几乎一根刺都不带、带刺也不扎人的交流。
油盐酱醋，加一点装腔作势，底色是懒散软弱，这就是爱情神话？
深得伍迪·艾伦、鲍姆巴赫和王小波的魂，看完就想立刻二刷。用一个饭局切开了市井烟火里人情世故和男女情感的剖面图景，看似在讲中年人的爱情，实则已经上升到全人类的爱情，三个男性和三个女性互为对仗，而市井里的爱情神话又和费里尼的爱情神话形成对仗。老乌讲完故事，徐峥兴致勃勃的说这世上哪有什么爱情神话，都是编的故事罢了，但相信的人都流泪了，当费里尼的《爱情神话》投向观众的时候，我落泪了，现实不是费里尼的电影。个人2021华语年度第二。
导演给自己刷三条5⭐可以吗？
非常智慧有趣的轻喜剧爱情片，轻盈洒脱，机锋暗藏；描摹人情世态，臧否两性话题。如江南精致小菜，甜酸适口，淡有余味。我的年度惊喜华语电影之选！
是我看过的今年最好看的华语电影，剧情节奏明快，沪语台词里带着上海特有的“嘲叽叽” ，编剧精准地捕捉到上海生活中的琐碎，是真正的当代与都市的感觉，有一种小而美在里面。优秀的演员班底，把三个女人一台戏表现的淋漓尽致
还不错，整部剧比较轻松，没有什么狗血，只有慢慢流淌的感情，每个人物色彩都很丰富，总的来说很不错！
连修鞋匠都端着咖啡杯的上海，
所有的表达都藏着一种很聪明的暧昧，用喜剧的面孔半遮半掩，认可的人哈哈大笑，不认的人也不会生厌。
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